Quilt stories
When we are sewing the quilts, we often wonder who the recipient will be, and how it will bring comfort. We usually don’t have to wonder long; it is astonishing how often a quilt ends up perfectly matched for the patient. This includes quilts with very specific themes—like tractors or gas pumps or chili peppers.
The hospital clinicians have the privilege of figuring out who is perfectly matched for each quilt. Through questions about favorite colors and activities, they learn rich details about the patient and family—their interests, their tastes, and funny stories. When they present the quilt, the family often points out something striking that prompts more stories. This adds to the clinicians’ understanding of the patient’s story and contributes to the patient’s legacy.
Quilt stories like these are often the highlight of hospital clinicians’ day and bring meaning to their work. The quilts and the stories they inspire help promote a healing culture for end-of-life care. When clinicians give the special gift of a quilt, it humanizes the hospital room.
“Laura and I were able to give a quilt today to an amazing human that was discharging home on hospice. She was quite anxious heading out the door and we gave her gave her a choice of quilts to give her some comfort in the ambulance. She wanted a purple quilt and we offered two choices. She was immediately drawn to one that was purple with flowers, as she said it reminded her of her mother, who she cared for at the end of her life.”
This week we met a lovely gentleman from rural Alaska who had come down for his granddaughter’s graduation. He came to the hospital for treatment of unexpected pain and soon learned that his cancer had returned and was advancing quickly. His lovely family was at his bedside constantly. The gentleman decided that he was ready to focus on comfort care and we offered a quilt to make the room feel more like his home. Initially we thought that he might like a quilt with fish since he was a commercial fisherman, but his family shared that his favorite color was blue, like the Mariners and the Seahawks colors, and it came out that he was a big sports fan. I was able to find one of the Seahawks quilts you all made, so I brought it to the gentleman and his wife. His eyes lit up and he said, “far out!” when he saw it. It was covering him when he died the next day, after his wife gave him permission to go to sleep, they told each other, “I love you,” and he gave her a kiss.
A mother of 4 adult children was dying at UWMC. The adult children all got along, made space for each other, and deeply loved their mom. We had brought them a quilt days before her death so the adult children were able to ‘live with it’ for a while before her death. On one visit the adult children told me that they planned to cut the quilt up into four pieces because they all wanted a part of it. My quilter heart skipped a beat at the thought of it being cut up so I offered to bind the cut edges for them. They politely declined because, “We want others to see the cut edges and realize that our piece of the quilt is only one part of it — so many people love our mom that we needed to cut up the quilt so everyone gets a piece. The raw edges are like our grief.”
I gave a quilt to a patient (the most amazing human). It is a GORGEOUS quilt with deep purples and even a little black (she requested black because “black goes with everything”). Anyway, she loves the quilt so much. Always comments on how beautiful it is, and she so appreciates that her husband will be able to sleep with it after she’s gone. I really love being able to give out quilts, thanks for all your work to make this happen!
A dear long-term patient succumbed to his cancer last week. He had young twins, and his wife really wanted to create legacy items that would help them to feel close to their dad. She and I did his handprints together, with the message to their kids that anytime they are sad and missing him, they can place their hand on his handprint and remember that he is always with them. The quilt patterns (dogs, music, and soccer) were things that he and his kids bonded over. This was very meaningful to his family in this extremely difficult time, so thank you again!
I was at the bedside of a woman who was dying. Her spouse of 48 years was holding her hand and on her bed was a deep green and purple quilt. She asked that the quilters be thanked for such a beautiful quilt. As she became sleepier and we thought close to death the patient said to her spouse, “I love and will miss you, but you will miss me more.” And he said, “You are right—-yet another argument you win,” which made her smile. We thought those would be her last words but then minutes later she said to her spouse, “Be sure to take this quilt. It is a gift, and it will bring you comfort when I’m gone.”